ok my deb is coming up,
and its MY night in a WHITE dress DANCING with my partner.. who is a lovely man.
i said on my table i wanted my mum, brad, my boyfriend matthew, my best friend tiffie and nan and my aunty sonya.
and my 12 year old sister asked if she was gonna come and i said no and she stormed off and i got yelled at! it is my night and if she came she would embarress me and be stupid. its the one night i get to look like a princess and feel amazing and i dont want her to make me look stupid..
this then went on to other stuff and i was being told how i always look at things negativly and i dont.. its jstu hard to look at things from a normal perspective when no one gives a shit till your in tears and on the verge of sanity.
this then went on to how i have agressive mood swings..
i know i have some kind of depression just never been tested because mum is like 'you dont need a doctor just be more happy' such great adive NOT!
i have always need to see a counsler and stuff i use to before we moved but mums all like 'i cant make that commitment' if she cant make the commitment then i cant deal with my problems and stress. she doesnt get it.
i tried explaining to her for my longing for a connection to somewhere.. to have a home..
but she said i will never have a home home because its normally a country thing, but yet she has a 'home' and brad has a 'home' i dont have that feeling.. i dont have that connection.. i dont remember ever feeling it.
they refuse to help me help me
they dont understand
they make a problem general over personal
its me on a lone battle .. again.
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